I think it does take a lot of time. Just don't rush things. I understand that sometimes it's like I want to be close to my partner and then the really bad feelings will come up out of no where. Then you feel guilt for the feelings ruining the moment so to speak. Some things will trigger more then others will.

Does your boyfriend know that you have been abused in the past?? If not you might want to say something to him. If you have a good relationship with him then I would say that this is something you need to share with him. Be honest with him. He might be wondering what is going on.

Remember you did nothing wrong and it isn't your fault that you were abused. You have nothing to hide in shame about. Go at your own pace. He doesn't have to know any details. Just say, " I was abused and this is hard for me right now. I can't talk about it right now. But when I feel more comfortable I would like to talk."

This actually help me having my husband know what was going on. I became more comfortable with him and the flashbacks and bad feelings seemed to be less as time went on when we are together. With your boyfriend knowing that you're been abused in the past you can say, " Hey I'm having a hard time can we stop" Then you can get things calmed down and then continue later if you're able.

Good Luck, this is a hard situation to be in.
Lisa