Does anyone else here have bipolar and have a violent bipolar teen?

I feel so alone and such a failure. My life is a nightmare. The light of my life, my baby boy, is now dx bipolar teen. And he is using drugs, I have holes punched in walls all over my house, almost all doors are broken off their hinges.

Sometimes he shoves me physically, almost constant screaming calling me names. I had to call police on him last week and we spent the weekend in the hospital. He tried to run out of hospital and then was put in restraints it was so horrible.

I am now getting help from cps, they made him sign a safety agreement to take his meds and not be violent, and they have a residential treatment program they will pay for him to go into. I know this is what I have to do for his, his little brother's and my own safety. But my heart is broken.

It's like I've been teetering, knowing i'm going to fall into mania or depression. I'm trying so hard to keep it together but I just can't I feel so weak. Now here I am in depression and so emotional. I have such trouble sleeping and keep missing work. Trying to remember what pdoc and therapist say about not going into catastrophic thinking. But it sure feels like a catastrophe and I feel like I'm in a hole with no way out.