Hi, I checked your other topics and see that you've already been given advice to visit the eating disorders section which you have, from what you say in your post it sounds like this may be the most helpful place to be for you.

As far as self-esteem goes I would say that basing your opinion of yourself on your physique is unhelpful - as you've realised it doesn't matter how slim or sexy others view you it doesn't change how you feel about yourself, it's your self image which is the problem. It's good to keep yourself fit and active as you do, but not to focus on your body image above all else - our bodies are amazing things, but we age, we change, and cliche though it is it's who we are inside which is most important - being at peace with ourselves really is the key. You say "i truly honestly am just not happy with myself" which shows you have an understanding of the root of the problem, half the battle I would say, what you need to work on is recognising what it will take to make you truly happy with yourself. Recognising your personal strengths, achievements and talents (other than your appearance) would be helpful - of course, if you have low self-esteem this often isn't easy to do, you may find your default is to be self critical - but with practice it is possible to change this way of thinking. I have personally found Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helpful and this can be done with self help books specifically for overcoming low self-esteem.

I hope this helps, my best wishes to you.