(((Living Well))),

Oh that fills me up with joy to hear you are finding your way through the mess and that even though it was hard on you, you will end up in a better place. And I can see how all of this is aggrivating the PTSD. However, you are also now seeing "how" this aggrivates the PTSD as well. That is what I realized myself and it is important to pay attention to what you DID do to manage the PTSD. You noticed the extreme anger, it is not just anger with PTSD, it is often Rage inside, so managing it is not as easy.
But learning how to slowly gain control over that is progress.

I noticed that on Memorial Day, when the neighbor appeared suddenly while I was having a much needed close time with my daughter, boy did I just fill up with RAGE.
After the neighbor walked away, I walked up to my barn and worked on reclaiming my composure. I did calm myself down without any medication, which is not easy, and I managed to salvage the day with my daughter. I had every right to be angry, but as you know, the rage is very hard to manage. I don't dwell on the fact that I had the rage, I focus on how I didn't continue to feed into it and worked my way out of it, and that is progress.

It is a lot of work to manage the strong emotions that present with this PTSD, I just find that each time, I get so I manage it a LITTLE better, and give myself credit for whatever I do better.

This was hard on you Living Well, but you are getting through it. You defintely deserve some peace for a while.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes