I'm sorry you go thru that, it must be terrible. I have never experienced anything worse than the usual run of the mill anxiety that comes with starting something new and being apprehensive or uncertain. It's almost like butterflies in the stomach feeling, but the butterflies are ostriches. Can a fast acting benzo not help you? I used to carry a tiny brown bag on my person when I used to get panic attacks, carbon dioxide killed them quite quickly in my experience. I hope someone posts who can help...