Oh, man, can I relate to your problem. My ex (notice, I say EX) was a severe alcoholic. But when he was sober, or just a beer or two, he was a great guy. Caring, creative, loving, all that crap. Three (or seven. or ten) Steel Reserves later, he apparently hates me, I'm controlling his every move in life, and I'm the worst thing that ever happened. He would frequently wander off for hours, and explode if questioned about it. Two polar opposite sides of him. I tried the ultimatum. I even asked "Am I really not worth more than a $1.39 can of beer to you". I asked that a lot, actually. For the longest time, he'd say "of course you're worth more". Then one day, he straight up said "No, you're not". You can make ultimatums all you like. He might even agree to them. But unless he examines why he drinks, and probably gets professional help, he will probably keep drinking to excess. I mean, he can't even drive because of drinking, you see? Now, I am being harsh, maybe. And I don't know you. I have no clue who you are or what your struggles are. But I do know you deserve to be treated better than that. Every woman deserves better than that. And every man deserves a better life than being slave to a fermented beverage. The best, healthiest choice I ever made was walking away from a relationship with that man. To this day, he is an alcoholic, and enabled by his mother.