for those of you that had few memories of trauma or abuse.....when things started to surface how did it feel? i always expected a "light bulb" moment where a picture/flashback would happen and id see everything and it would be concrete and proof. that hasnt happened. everything is so vague.

right now it feels like all these bottled up feelings are starting to surface and i dont know if thats the "trauma" starting to seep out my pores? at any given time for no apparent reason and at no one in particular im angry, sad, rebellious, overwhelmed, agitated, frustrated, i could cry, i could puke. etc etc....it feels very much like im trying to fight but im being held down...like i have all this "stuff" and i cant get it out. i could just start swinging and throwing punches but im sitting completely still at work.

what could this mean?