I'm bad at putting me first. Me being on pc is my way of putting me first. I'm working on it. I do everything for everyone else. And feel stupid when no one repays it. Every single time. I think that's what makes me try harder.. Maybe if i just try harder and I'm a better girlfriend he will want to hang out with me instead of getting high with his friends. (wrong).

And then part of me is like hey psycho.. Why can't he have some alone time with his friends?

The real answer to that is because I don't want to be left alone thinking of how pathetic me will never be the one out there hanging with my friends while he is alone. He has a bunch of friends. I definitely agree with you Billi. I don't get jealous (only did once and I that was some weird stuff.. On the other girls part not my bf) but he definitely makes me feel ten times more alone.