> as for the general symptoms, i know for a fact i've been hiding many of these things from doctors all my adult life.

?
sorry... what kinds of things? do you mean things about how you are feeling? i think it is pretty natural to not tell them *everything*. i mean... there wouldn't be enough time in the day lol. disclosure has to be paced... also... if it isn't bothering you then you probably don't need to talk about it.

> i am pretty sure i have lied about certain aspects of my past, and lied somewhat at the time as well, in order to back up my bipolar dx. i feel as though i have twisted how i feel and have felt to fit that dx, rather than admitting that these feelings are ALWAYS there.

hmm. maybe... maybe the feelings were ALWAYS there... or maybe it just seems to you right now that those feelings were ALWAYS THERE. when you feel one way... you tend to remember past times when you felt the same way. find it hard to remember times when you felt differently. maybe you are going through a bit of a hard patch now?

re: trying to fit things to your dx... that is an easy thing to do. you start to see yourself through the lens of your dx and that dictates who you are. clinician's do that too. they are often quick to jump on things that confirm their dx. they are often quick to see us through the lens of our dx.

and so... i guess i'd be careful about finding still more dx's to see yourself through the lens of. and i guess i'd be careful about finding still more dx's for them to see you through the lens of.

have you been reading a lot about personality disorders?
did it get you thinking how much you fit the symptoms...
did it get you reinterpreting your life your problems your symptoms so as to cohere with dx of a personality disorder?

IMO people are individuals. IMO dx's are heuristics for mental health professionals. IMO most clinician's use them lazily so they can assume rather than assess. IMO the benefit to dx is an artifact of such things as managed health care where what treatment (therapy, medication etc) that you can obtain is dependent on your dx.

IMO dx does more harm than help.

IMO... think about who you want to be...
and think about what is holding you back from becoming the person you want to be.
those are the things to work on

throw up and cry hysterically...

how come?

(also i'll put a little caveat in there... if you do have episodes of mania you might not consider those problematic... until later. so sometimes family members and clinician's do need to independently assess whether there are symptoms that are causing problems for you living your life the way you would want to be living it once the state wears off...)