Well. It finally struck. I need help but I don't want to get it. I need someone to force me to go on meds. I am going to tell my friend to force me to take meds and get me in to a clinic to get a perscription or whatever. I know that meds work. They work so well that I hate it. But I need to. I myself am a cutter and last night I cut over 19 different spots on my body trying to relieve the pain I felt and get my mind of suicide. It worked because I am still here but it's not acceptable. My behavior was disgusting and I realize I need to force myself to be helped. Just thought I would let you all know that I am going to seek help and to please think of me.