MAYBE A DOUBLE TRIGGER TO SOME... AND MY POST MAY EVEN BE REMOVED.. I AM NOT SURE.......

I don't want this thread closed.. I think it is important and I am not sure why. I don't want to look but I keep peeking and searching as though I am looking for answers to save my soul....I've tried all day to respond to September's and Jennie's post and I still can't compose an answer...

As to some of Maven's comments.. I think more people have serious after-effects of being molested as a child than those who have none and have yet to experience a so called "normal" life.. and generally the predator usually does live a normal life as long as they are not exposed or caught...

With me, I was not aware of being molested until I was in my early 40's. Although I don't feel the pain or actually relate to it happeing to me, I have lived a most painful life and not understanding why, that is until therapy.. But I lucked out again with a christian counselor who sat sprawled legged, with a weird look on his face when we tried to get the details.. He had such an look on his face and the way he was sprawled I felt he was mentally masturbating as I struggled to find details.....Now is that normal?? I think not....

I have never been a cry baby or lived a life on the pity pot. In fact I can't even shed tears for myself, but I can cry for others . I also think of others first always before myself.. Which in the long run leaves me always at the bottom of the ladder, never reaching the top.

In my case, my hope may only be fantasy or wishful thinking. I may be screwed...There is so much, yet the answers and experiences seem unreachable.......