Hi, I need advice ASAP! Long story short, my daughter is 15 and fairly recently dx'd with Aspergers. I had posted before about her coming to visit me this summer. I had sole custody of her for 10 years, absent father, no resources. 15 years ago no one knew how to dx Asperger's in girls, so she was misdiagnosed as bipolar.

I went through the usual, hard to discipline, hard to contain, difficulty in school, meltdowns, and a horrible time with potty training. I looked everywhere for answers and help, but found none. I took her to three different states for evaluations, social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, OT, etc. No one could or would help me. I finally asked the school social worker to visit my home and try to help me develop some strategies for organization and potty training. She came to my home, saw the chaos, and reported me to child protective services.

I have been accused of neglect, sexual abuse, alcholism, depression, anxiety, poor coping skills, not feeding her, and letting her raise herself. It was a nightmare, and I was to blame for ALL of her behavior.

In the end, they were in our lives for 5 years and removed her twice. The first time she was placed in a foster home and physically abused on a regular basis. It took months to get her out of that place! She came home and things were wonderful for awhile. Then she entered middle school and completely melted down.

Her grades suffered, she couldn't make friends, she was supposed to get an aide in the classroom but that never happened. She couldn't sit still, etc. Again CPS was called and again I was accused of things like sending her to school with dirty clothes and hair, and not feeding her. None of this was true.

They remained in our lives for 9 months, and were actually somewhat helpful. However, she still wasn't toilet training and my house was a disaster. I was instructed to remove all of the carpets in my home, which I had been doing by myself with fibromyalgia.

In the end, they felt that I wasn't making any progress with her, and removed her again. They fired her psychologist and psychiatrist, and sent her to live with my mother. She was placed in a new school where she received the one on one attention she needed, and she improved.

So in the end, everything was still blamed on me. My records state over and over that her behavior only happened in my home, therefore it was my fault. They lied. She had potty issues in school, in foster care, and in my mother's home, but they continued to deny it. She began losing weight and wetting her pants every day at 10 years old.

Then the scum of the earth crawled out of the woodwork and took me to court for custody. He presented as the ideal parent, active duty military, beautiful home in Hawaii, remarried with two children, one of whom is severely autistic and receiving lots of help from the military. Funny thing, our judge represented my ex in our divorce, and didn't recuse himself. I had a horrible attorney. In the end, I lost complete custody and was not given any visitation.

Cut to five years later, and I've only seen her a handful of times. Little by little things are coming out. My daughter is now "mother's little helper" and takes care of the autistic sister. She does the laundry for five people and housecleaning. She's also in high school taking 7 classes, 3 are AP. She has, in five years, gone on ONE sleep over and ONE school dance. She is completely isolated.

Discipline consists of spanking. She informed me that spanking the autistic sister is the only thing that works. Her sister also isn't potty trained at 7, but that's no big deal. She is completely out of control, and the parents do not supervise. Yet, no one calls CPS or blames the parents for her behavior.

My ex told me that my daughter uses Aspergers as a "crutch" and she needs to learn to behave normally so that she can go to college. Next year they are signing her up for driver's ed. She receives NO services at all. Her stepmother treats her like a "mini me". They read all the same books and watch the same shows and are best friends. The father, I'm told by my daughter, no longer spanks her but makes her clean and hold her hands over her head while standing for punishment. If her grades drop, no computer, tv, video games or ipod. She doesn't get them taken away for a weekend or a week, but indefinitely until she brings her grade up with her next report card.

So now she's here for 5 weeks. She told me the only time she sees her father is at the dinner table or when she's in trouble. She has no relationship with him. Her stepmother has panic attacks and high blood pressure and spends most of her time in the garage smoking and reading novels. My daughter is left in charge of the household all the time.

Here, she is loved, fed, talked with, parented, guided, and well cared for. She's very happy here. I took her for a hair cut, which she desperately needed, and my stylist could not believe how badly damaged her hair was. Her glasses are so scratched I don't know how she sees. Her body image is troubling, as she wears her bra 24/7 and won't take it off because it's embarrassing.

I want to file for emergency custody, but can't afford a lawyer. I don't know what to do. Her father and stepmother have been calling for days and she refuses to speak with them. Now I am receiving threatening texts and voicemails from my ex saying that if she doesn't call him he will end our visit.

What should I do????????