Calista you just explained my whole life before integration, in your two paragraphs...my internal system was on where I had no control over what my alters did or didnt do. all my life they would just take over and live their lives doing their purposes/jobs because thats what they were there for...to take care of those things I could not handle...example take care of things/events/issues that triggered/embarrassed/caused me anguish or other triggering feelings...I now remember this one time I was in elementary -Jr high school and I had gotten close to one of the people that worked in the kitchen at the school. boy was I shocked to realize I was sitting in the principles office for "propositioning that hunk", or find myself on the school bus and everyone staring at me because I told someone that was picking on me what to do with their self.

I have made many comments and questions to my therapist.. some of which were downright embarrassing to me..

one day when someone asked her what orientation she was was and would she consider.... and I was embarrassed my therapist told me...

if you cant tell/ask me your therapist these things then who can you tell/ask? there are no limits of discussion in this room /with me. heck heres my phone number (work phone and work message) any more questions feel free to ask. with me and in this room we are going to be talking about things that elicit all kinds of emotions and all kinds of topics including those of the intimate nature. then she answered the questions that were asked of her.

for most people me included, that I know having DID is a whole life time of these embarrassing times/events....