Are you a victim of this? Have you ever loved someone so deeply only to have your hopes crushed every single time?

I did. At one time in my life I loved someone so deep and so much it ate me up inside. I think he is the reason for my several breakdowns, excessive drinking and discovery of my bipolar.

I always felt ugly and not good enough, when at that time in my life, I was the most beautiful. Nice body and beautiful long flowing hair and nice skin. Everyone saw me as beautiful except me. All because of a man that would never love me and that I would never be good enough for. I longed for him and I feared that I would be trapped in an endless emotional masochistic relationship. I spent 5 years like this. Crying every single day, drinking endless amounts of alcohol and trying to numb the pain.

And after I got sick with the bipolar and was hospitalized he left me. I then in turn tried to kill myself. How could I live without him? Did I love him that much. He caused me so much pain and grief yet I almost ended my life because of him. Isn't that amazing? I mean how is that even possible?

Well the reason I am sharing this is, if you are currently in a masochistic emotional relationship with someone that you feel not good enough for and the unrequited love is so great it eats you up inside, there is hope for you. You can leave him/her. Not only did I survive that relationship, but I found a wonderful guy years later that loves me and I am truly happy with. I still feel fat and ugly, but those are my own issues. It has nothing to do with him. I feel good enough for him but not good enough for myself. But at least I realize its NOT him that's causing that.

The point is I am thinking about how far I have come and how damaging to my life that relationship was. There is still remnants of that pain that lives within me from that time. I am slowly learning to accept myself and my beauty after years of feeling less than nothing, There is hope. You can survive unrequited love and one day be happy again.