Thanks y'all. Im really trying not to let this new found abnger get to me, im trying to convince myself to put it to good use, kind of. Like the fact that my dad has always been the worst of all, yet i always felt the need to go check on him, buy him food and clothes, sit with him while he was having a bad trip or whatever it is meth does to you. I felt obligated because he was my father. But that idea is gone with this new anger. If he, as the father, couldnt keep me safe and instead caused pain, i will no longer try to help his pain. I will no longer pretend that what he did was ok. Same with my brother. I wont hurt them but i will no longer feel like or think that its my job to take care of them.

I just cant help but wonder, im very smart, attractive, learn well, have many talents, but i feel like they ruined my chances of being somebody. I cant help but wonder who i would be if it wasnt for them, how far i could have gone. I feel like they took that future from me. I guess next, i have to find a future without all of them. Cutting the ties is the first step, im there. Next is excepting what they did so i can move on and hopefully see a better future... hopefully