Hi Cowboy! Are you still posting with us? I remember how hard it was for Mom when Dad passed so suddenly, but it will hurt less over time. It sounds like you have a lot of wonderful memories of this very special woman. She would not want you blaming yourself when you did everything you could. You are bombarded with so many things I hardly know what to say! Look for the angels that God has placed nearby to help you through this. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.