Lots of . Writing is good, yup (note: take own advice! )
It certainly could be a reaction, there are years of emotion around the whole thing, and an event like this could trip your subconscious.

In reading your reaction, I can imagine myself responding similarly. One of the things I think I would feel is resentment. And for me that brings on snappish-ness and self-destructive behavior, probably because I personally don't address that topic at all well(!) Do you think resentment is part of the mix for you? Wondering on account of having obligatory duties that (guessing) you wouldn't mind having to do without.

I'm confident that you will get back on top of those bad behaviors. Just am. Sending good thoughts your way. Keep posting, ok?