Im right there with you. Thinking about suicide non-stop, especially at night. Been alone for my entire adult life. I manage to distract myself sometimes with healthy options and other times, not so much. Day by day approach works the best for me. These feelings of self harm have come and gone before. But lately Ive felt a bit of inevitability about it. And caring less about other's reactions or burdens. I just have to remember that the morning will come and at least that day has a chance to be better if I try to make it better. Im with you day by day.