I'll tell you how it was.. he's writing like a maniac, of course eyes on his yellow pad. The only time he looks at me is when I fall silent. So he misses all the non-verbal expressions.. which may explain why I so often felt like he misunderstood me. And if I'm struggling to talk about something painful, I don't get any eye-to-eye response - like where you see compassion, or you can tell they 'get it.' It wasn't until I got to my current therapist that I found out what that was like. There have been so many times that I have opened up a painful wound for her to help me untangle, and after I finish our eyes lock and she doesn't have to say a word.. I feel safely held by her compassion and care. My first therapist could have never offered that, because he was so focused on writing all kinds of crap down that did absolutely nothing therapeutic for me.