Hello,
I seem to have this problem of falling in love, or sex with as many women as possible. I am 23 and for the last 2 years I have had 2 girlfriends, now I have 3, in reality I only want one as it is very hard on my conscience and time to try and spend as much time as possible with all of them. It happens alot that one will want to do something while I am already booked with another.. then they get really sad and wonder why I dont want to spend anytime with them. That in return makes me feel like [censored]. I only want one, but I have no idea who, and I dont want to hurt them by leaving them because I know they are madly in love with me.
My first girlfreind who I have been with for 5 years I met when we where in high school, and I moved here to sweden from california to be with her. However from the moment I got here everything went to [censored] and we where fighting constantly, she had gotten rather heavy, and on top of all that I couldnt leave her because I had no place to go.. and no will or money to go back to california. So instead I put up with all the [censored] and started going out and meeting new women.. and that is where the next problem comes in, .. I fell in love with somebody else. (by the same name to make things even more interesting) she is tall, blonde and absolutly beautiful. We hit it off directly, the first night we met we had sex, I promised myself not to call her afterwards and to only leave as that.. but I couldnt stop, and I called her, and we met more and more.. and now I have a full relationship with her, and have had one for 2 years. .. and for a little while I was satisfied with thinking of her as my only girlfreind, but the whole time, everynight I was still going home and pretending to be my first girlfriends boyfriend.. really difficult to do. But I still could not leave her as I didnt want to break her heart, and a part of me was still in love with her. Perhaps her memory at the time. No idea.
Anyway, during this whole time I still felt unsatisfied or perhaps lonely (as it is very lonely not being able to show someone you love them, or going out in public and being able to introduce them to your freinds out of fear of hurting someone else) and went out looking for new women, not for a relationship but for sex, and only sex.
So now I have two woman madly in love with me, and still dont have the balls to end it with my first girlfriend, nor do I really want to end it with her. well, 2 years later and I am still with my first and second girlfriends and things are going great between both. . I have a great relationship with both, but still a feeling of being lonely when I am with them.. even when we are together doing something I feel a bit of loneliness, yet at the sametime there are days when I feel so madly in love with one that I never want to end it..
anyway, as if this was not a big enough problem by itself, I met a new girl who I am slowly falling in love with, and we do many things together and I can introduce her to some of my friends because I am freinds with her friends. But I know the only reason I am falling in love with her is because she is new and interesting. she is very sexy, but not the best in bed, or maybe she is, just not with me.. anyway, everyday I tell myself that I need to end it with her (girl 3) as that just seems downright horrible and if nothing else greedy. But at the sametime she seems to feel my last need of just feeling loved in someway, I am never lonely with her, and we always seem to be able to talk about things. But again I know that is just because she is new.. every relationship starts off really damn good.. and I beginning to wonder if that is the only thing I like about a relationship.. the newness and excitement.. because I am terrified of commitment, yet at the sametime I dont want to hurt anyone..

Please help somebody, and I mean real honest help and not just flaming.. I already know this is horrible I dont need to be reminded of it..
I am looking for any advice att all.. something real.

Thank you in advance