I know I'm starting to slide. I'm just not sure if I evn want to do anything about it. Lately I've been pinching myself with my nails. Very small pieces, like if I was popping a pimple, and just hold it there until it doesn't hurt. I feel total peace while that pain is there and it is hard to let that go. Especially at night I will dig my nail into my skin causing the same effect, leaving an indentation that it gone by morning. I'm starting to have a hard time staying calm without the pain. I just want to feel okay.