I think how you feel is ten times more common than anyone is willing to admit.
I relate completely.
You're not faking. I think I saw your name in an ed online community recently? Those can make you feel terrible as I've noticed people jump down your throat because of a lovely thing called "wanarexia". I got it a lot.
Don't take it personally.

"I can't be myself and I don't want to talk. Now I'm taking the cure so I can be quiet whenever I want."