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Ok so not everything is in place and it’s only on a chance of luck thing that I may get a job if my interview goes well. However all the time I practice helpful techniques and feel better nothing happens. No matter how hard I try. Now because I am nervous wreck and all over the place but still trying because you have to, meaning job applying etc. Thinking its ok because nothing will happen so what does it matter if I am back to feeling awful. Then I get two interviews arrr. Of course at this point I have not given myself any help or better chance as I have let things slip and feeling at my worse I have ever felt, family are also adding to that worse feeling in my life and get me hysterical at best of times.
First interview didn’t go to plan and should have left the past where it belongs. It’s hard to explain why you are a so on edge and clearly in panic mode. However when you explain why that just makes things worse. How do you pretend when it shows as clear as day light what you are like as a person which at the moment is a person experiencing heighten levels of anxiety and doesn’t cope well with stress. Then you get that guilt like why did you even bother to apply and you wasting our time. However I don’t want to be unemployed forever just because I am of no use because of how I am feeling at the moment. Then other people are like it will all fall into place in time, you will learn, you won’t feel this way forever, it’s just the anxiety you are more than capable, you just need to get another job and then that will take the anxiety way or help show you that you can do this.
So now I have an interview but my chances are slim because of how I feel/ thinking now because I have warn myself down again and like I am going to feel better by overnight, although I would like this job but even then I probably would last long if I got past interview but at the same time there must be another job out there for me that I could do.
The college I enquired with never answered my calls and emails. So hoping now to try and get this job and apply to the better college in the next town for next year and hopefully still be working at this place if all goes to how ideally I would like things go. Another thing I done two days of volunteering which has helped a bit but that was for only 6 hours and involved no interaction with other people I was just sorting stock out that people gave to the charity shop.
However this could all back fire at me and add to my worse feeling and I could get myself stuck yet again at starting point with what seems like higher ladder to claim each time I find myself at the starting point then before.
Last edited by Mindinpieces; Jun 03, 2012 at 11:07 AM.
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