Well I confronted my "online friend" about what was hurting me and how her actions lately of leaving me out or only talking to me when she is bored and making one excuse after another for not talking to me, made me feel like I want to be dead, how I have a strong desire to be dead.
Well, she did respond to my confronting her, but her responce was to get professional help (see a T), duh I know that, she knows I know that, but now everyone that I talked to on that forum (note: not here) has avoided me too and keeps on saying go get help. Yes that is obvous that I need help (to find a T) but I also need a friend, someone who will talk to me, I don't need someone to push me away. Why should I even bother to get help if I can't have a friend to talk to, while my only offline friend is hardly home.
Now I have no online friends, they treat me like I am a freak or something cause of my feelings. I just want a friend along with getting seeking help a T. Someone to talk to me, that I can help them as well as they can help me by just being a friend. But now that I have lost the little amount of friends that I have online I see no reason to go one living or to get help.
Please I beg you, if you are going to be harsh in your reply please don't reply, or if you are going to tell me that I need a T then please don't reply, I know that already. See, I am so close to the edge of taking my life, closer than I have been in many many years. I just want an online friend to talk to daily (who is around my age and has time to talk, I am in my 30s), I can't take this loneliness anymore
If I do not survive this cause no one wants to talk to me and the loneliness gets too hard for me to bear, I want you to know that I thank you with all my heart for all the advice that you have given me in the past. I hope that you all heal, I really do.