I thank you all for reading my post and making the time to send a response. That does mean something to me. I hope all this suffering ends soon. It's pretty much unbearable. I have to live in our house ( don't get me wrong it's a beautiful house that I should be grateful for) with nothing but memories all over the place. I was cleaning the other day and I found one of my daughters socks under the couch and I had to stop and sit down just to gather myself,something that little hurt me and almost made me break down. I don't know what's going to happen. All I know is we are over. And I'm pretty much right back where I was prior to meeting her. Nothing. Just nothing. I know its not just nothing as I have two great kids. And I love them very much. But when you can only see them once every 1-2 weeks because you have to work so much ( min.10 hours a day and almost a hour drive just to get there ) it just feels like my life is nothing.