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Nammu · Jun 03, 2012, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

This is how I feel.

I would like to go veiled in privacy from all the eyes IRL.

This is exactly what I wish I could wear, except I fear I would draw too much attention just because of the unusual dress wear!

Living in Texas I get enough comments on my preference for black-aren't you hot? I just feel more comfortable in black than any other color. The oddest response has to be many decades years ago- back when I was first diagnosed with PTSD and first started having memories and dissociation. One of the so called therapists I was sent to interview(for a group therapy w/ others like me) from the hospital, this therapist told my doctor that I was involved with a Satanist cult!!! She could tell because I was wearing all black and there was no reason for me to be wearing black, such as my being over weight!! I was so shocked that a so called real therapist would actually say something like that that I said {very tongue in cheek} or maybe I was being sarcastic, but I wasn't serious but I was taken seriously and had a restraining order put on me! Any way I said "gee maybe I should have her drawn and quartered." As if. I asked my doctor if they had, had to look it up to see what it meant. None of the nurses or anyone in the hospital knew what I meant and had to ask me what it meant! I told her witches and Satanist don't do that the persecutors and the inquisitors used it I was being sarcastic.

I was told because I was MI anything I said like that would be taken seriously?! No matter how out of context. All because I preferred black clothes for my own comfort and to help give me a feeling of invisibility. Clearly it wasn't working. I had also died my long auburn hair black so it would blend in with my clothes, that too backfired a different therapist claimed that proved I was psychotic!? I asked her if she had been down on Hennepin Ave, or in Hyde Park lately? That was the hight of Goethe I was hardly alone,in having black hair but I didn't do white face make up or dark eye make up alone with the hair and according to the article her was quoting those things plus voices needed to be present! The article was written in the 1800's too!

So ((((Rose76))) if I got those kind of comments from people educated in "so called" educated in psychology your neighbor is just being obtuse. I do understand the feelings though. I prefer waiting until dark to take out the garbage and all that stuff too. I had kind of a reality awaking last week though and I would bet the same would happen to you if you stopped all activity. From what you have said about your landlord and how long you have lived there. I have lived here for a long time but I don't talk much to my neighborers, so what happened to me was a surprise.

I kinda gave up, I stayed in bed, even when I wasn't sleeping, I only got up to empty the litter box, feed and water my cat usually in the middle of the night for about two weeks, I did this, not eating or doing much else. I was saving pills and making plans. I got a note in my door from the office asking me if I was OK. It said the maintenance man noticed my car had not moved in days, then a few days latter someone(long story) sent the police for a wellness call but I had to go get some stuff for my cat and was fortunately gone at that precise moment. The manager talked to them, said my car was gone and I got another note to please call. I now know the people around me do notice me, I know at least three of them would be upset if something happened to me.

Rose-and I suspect you too Bobbie, all of us who hide at home, even though I don't know your stories yet, there are people, spirits who are watching over us. Maybe we are just too depressed to feel them. I went out with Anna today, had lunch, hard, yes, eye opening, very. found out just how much people know about me. I haven't talked to anyone here for over a year. So I doubt any of us are truly alone.

Sending fuzzy's

and hugs

to everyone out there in PC who thinks they are alone--the angels/spirits are watching over all of us.

Rose I hope this group turns out to be the right one for you. I don't care for the one I'm in. The therapist seems to dislike me for not wanting to go into the hospital? I thought that was the point of the group, to stay out of the hospital??? But thats her issue, if it doesn't work I don't see it as my failure, just a bad fit. Good luck.