I've always felt I wasn't good enough... and now, coming out of a really rough relationship. Realizing that the relationship (over 4 years) really made me even more unsure of myself.

I always blamed myself for things and I had thought it was all stemming from childhood. But now...

my boyfriend had been lying to me for all 4 years in some way or another. He lied to my face so many times. He'd always choose to talk to someone else, like his EX, or some other girl he ended up making out with while I was away one summer, or the girl he left me for, or the girl he did stuff online with... before me.

I was never good enough - that's always how I felt. He kept telling me that wasn't true, but then he went and lied even more.



I don't know what to believe anymore, and I feel really crappy about myself.


what if all those depressed feelings, they were right? What if I am useless, selfish, unworthy of anything? Hopeless? Unloveable?

I'm definitely selfish now =( I asked my parents for all this money for school today. I don't deserve it, I don't deserve what I have.

All I want is to be happy, I don't want nightmares every night, I want to be able to sleep... I should be sleeping as of 3 hours ago. I want to live my life. But I don't have one, I gave it all up... useless, unworthy, not good enough, not good enough ever...