It's very hard to describe exactly how I'm feeling because there seems to be so much going on in my head. But I haven't felt right for six months or so ever since I had a breakdown due to my ex-girlfriend.

Everything in life seems ridiculous and pointless and I often find myself questioning things everybody takes for granted. It even gets to the point sometimes where i question reality. My brain never stops questioning, I completely over analyse my own and other peoples actions to ridiculous detail. It's torture. I'm never able to relax and am unable to enjoy things that I once enjoyed. I can't pay attention to TV or read a book, I often just have the TV on in the background just to distract myself slightly from the constant buzzing that's going on in my brain. I'm a university student and seem able to get my work done just about, but it doesn't matter to me, nothing seems to matter to me any more. I don't seem to think or feel anything. I just feel like a numb shell. I can get things that need to be done day to day usually but just feel like I'm existing rather than living.

Recently I've been using recreational drugs reasonably reguarly, I've smoked weed 10-20 times and taken mdma 4 times. This is simply because the friendship group I've fallen into do this so I was given the opportunity to try it, especially because of the sort of nights out they go to require you to be wired just to last the entire night. I half want to take the drugs (can't lie the mdma experience is an escape from how I feel day to day, but I don't want to take it again) and half feel uncomfortable with them. I'm scared that my drug use may have made the feelings I described above worse. They were there before I took any drugs but I'm pretty anxious that I might have ****ed myself up even more.

All I want is to feel normal again. Thanks so much for your help.