I have recently been diagnosed with BP II after a traumatic breakup and a bout of severe depression. I have always been a little off per say; overly sensitive, emotional and so on. Not until now do I understand that there was something else going on. While at first I was relived to find out that there was a reason for my “craziness” now however it has just added to my increasing self-hatred. I have always struggled with self-hatred but in the last few months it has gotten really bad. I find that I cannot or will not do the most basic things for myself; eat, clean the house even take a shower. I know that part of it is the depression, but what I find is that I do not do these things because I can’t sand myself. Looking at my body disgusts me. I find fault with everything about me; from by head to my toes. I refuse to clean my house because I hate everything I own. I find severely compare myself to my ex’s new fiancé even though I don’t even know her. I am very analytical and very smart (Wow a component) so I can convince myself logically of anything. I just feel overwhelmed by this constant negative voice within me. It will not stop; my thought process will not change. So very frustrated with myself!