Hi everyone,

I'm back with installment 2. This one is a little longer than the ones that will follow but made the most sense in breaking them up. This post includes: 1). Decreased need for sleep. 2). More talkative/Pressure to keep talking. And, 3). Racing Thoughts & Distractability. Again, thank you so much for your time and patience as well as your replies so far.

DECREASED NEED FOR SLEEP:
I have noticed a distinct change in my sleeping patterns over the past couple years. This seems to follow a fairly predictable cycle. Normally I require a good 7-8 hrs. of sleep to feel refreshed and rested, going to bed between 11:00 – midnight and waking around 6:30-7:30ish a.m. . I’ve always been a restless sleeper, tossing and turning frequently and flailing my legs (I’ve been diagnosed with restless leg).

Also it’s always taken me a good 20-40 min. to actually fall asleep since my mind races like crazy. I can’t shut it off! My pdoc and therapist told me this is due to my anxiety. But this happens even if I have nothing on my mind! This is my, “Normal,” and typical sleep pattern until the disruptive sleep cycle begins. I’ll sleep like this for about 1-3 months then the following will occur. Here’s what’s going on:

A few hours or so before my usual bedtime I won’t feel tired- at all! I’m wide awake, alert, and full of energy as though it’s day time. I feel like I could be very productive, but don’t start anything knowing I need to go to bed soon. So, usually I do one of two things:

1). I’ll wait about an hour or so then go to bed unable to sleep with major insomnia. No matter how many relaxation techniques I try my mind races, I toss and turn and quickly become frustrated not able to sleep. Sometimes I can cat nap, waking almost every hour, but ultimately I end up getting out of bed. I purposely don’t engage in any stimulating activities since I know this isn’t helpful in trying to feel tired. Eventually I do go back to bed (anywhere between 2:00-5:00 a.m.) and sleep, but it’s either restless cat napping knowing I can sleep in, or fair sleep with an early wake-up. Either way, when I wake up my body feels exhausted and sleep deprived but my mind feels rested and awake. On these occasions I’ve usually slept or rested on average 2-4 hrs.

2). Because of these prior experiences I won’t even try to go to bed. I’ll usually stay up late (until I think I feel tired) going to bed anywhere between 3:00-4:00 a.m. Again, the same vicious cycle occurs as before. I either get up and later try to go back to sleep a few times, or toss and turn in bed (usually getting up anyways), then eventually cat nap while I’m in bed. Again, I average 2-4 hrs. sleep feeling the same as above.

Regardless of whichever scenario occurs this pattern follows for a few nights. I’m wide awake, can’t sleep and only get a few hours sleep. Some days my body feels more tired than others, but my brain feels rested and alert. Sometimes mid-day I crash with exhaustion and can nap, others I can’t nap at all. Then a night or two later I’m dog tired at bed time, go to sleep without any difficultly, and sleep like a baby feeling rested and refreshed the following morning. Sometimes this is the end of this cycle and I go back to my, “Normal,” sleep pattern for a month or two, or my insomnia continues for about a week with a few, “Normal,” night’s sleep.

This became so bothersome a year ago I actually had a sleep study done thinking I had a sleep disorder. It proved inconclusive- no sleep disorder. The Dr. suggested I might have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome and gave me ridiculous day/night time instructions to follow. I did and it helped. However, since then this cycle still continues. I realize I should probably do this day/night routine again. However, I can’t help but wonder if my sleep issues could be actually be hypomanic episodes.

MORE TALKATIVE/PRESSURE TO KEEP TALKING:
I am a full-fledged, confirmed, rambler! Somehow, I don’t seem to possess the ability to make a long story short-ever! (Which is probably evidenced by the exhausting lengths of these posts). This bothers me greatly because the body language of others often indicates, “When is she going to get to her point, already?” I feel like a rambling idiot, then feel rushed to get through what I have to say, and then talk even faster! Also, I normally do speak quickly. But it doesn’t really affect the intelligibility of my speech and people are able to keep up.

My therapist told me my rapid speech and rambling is probably due to my anxiety. I can agree with this. Somehow I feel a need to keep talking without omitting any details. Problem is, I sometimes lose my train of thought and need to be redirected back to my point, or forget it altogether. Could I speak more slowly or condense my conversations? Do I have the ability? I think so. I have in the past, but it’s extremely difficult for me to do. Do I experience moments where I just have to talk with no purpose because I’m feeling a burst of energy? No, never.

RACING THOUGHTS & DISTRACTABILITY:
Ugh! I have random, racing, thoughts ALL the time! This can occur in just about any situation and any time of day (and already noted when trying to go to sleep). Like I’ve read in posts here this is much like what others experience. One thought leads to another, then another, and another. They almost always begin with a thought, or memory, associated with what I’m doing (reading a book, watching T.V., listening to a conversation, etc…), then will take on a life of their own leading me to something completely unrelated.

Also this occurs often when I’m in the middle of doing something. All of a sudden something else I need to do will pop into my mind, and I’m afraid if I don’t do it right now, I’ll forget. So I’ll break away from what I was originally doing to take care of task 2, then get sidetracked forgetting task 1. More times than not I’ll think, “Hmm… what was I doing?” pausing to get back on track. But sometimes I’ll forget because my mind is still racing. There’s just too much stuff going on in there.

My therapist and I felt I do this because of both my anxiety and OCPD. That I simply can’t stand to have something go undone so I have to do it right then and there. This makes sense to me. But, I also wonder if this could be part of hypomania? This does tend to occur more often when I’m racing around the house with lots to do, stressed, and have a lot on my mind. Is it possible it could be both? Am I capable of continuing task 1 and delay doing task 2? Yes, but I’d probably forget what task 2 was. This is the method to my madness.

This pdoc I saw (not my regular) cited this as a sign of ADHD and asked if I’d been diagnosed with it. Years ago I was diagnosed with a learning disability and it was also suspected I might have this too. However, because I seemed to have adapted coping strategies for it, ADHD was never officially added. In my research I’ve read ADHD can be a precursor to Bipolar. Hmmm…

Additionally, I believe these racing thoughts might be the culprit to my rambling and fast speech- maybe. My head will be in a tailspin overwhelmed with tons of thoughts and I can’t sort through them and think clearly. It’s like my brain is on overload and shuts down and I can’t process everything fast enough. Due to this I tend to stammer and repeat myself trying to formulate my thoughts coherently. This is embarrassing!

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Have you experienced this stuff? Again, any insights, thoughts or suggestions are much appreciated. Thanks again for your patience and checking back in.

Tomorrow I will post: 1). Increased Goal Directed Activity. And, 2). Inflated Self-Esteem & Grandiosity/Excessive Pleasurable Activities

Peace and healing energy to all...

~*PositiveKarma*~