Hi lostlove,

I would tell you it's a long road back to finding yourself again, and learning to like and then even love that person. I was in a similar place 3 yrs ago. I woke up after 26yrs of marriage to realize it was abusive. I just kept making excuses, until there were none left to make. I just thought I needed to love and support him enough and it would fix everything. It's not about what we do or don't do. It's their issues that cause them to strike out at those they mean to love, whether they use their voice or their hands.

Healing is a slow process, but it does happen, one day at a time. This place is wonderful. People here are wise and supportive. There are also sometimes support groups in your community that will help you heal from domestic violence. Take time and be very patient with yourself. You will get there.

Take care, Quay