Death isnt the only reason I caution people on self analyzing, self diagnosing.. I also know many many people who misdiagnosed their self with this or that mental disorder and it turned out to be something different..

psych classes are notorious breeding grounds for this. LOL you can read any mental disorder out there and fit yourself into it...especially with something like hearing voices and voices taking control.. we had many normal psych students around here who while studying mental disorders were sure they had all kinds of mental disorders when they didnt.. and we had a student that did have a mental disorder....she diagnosed herself to be schizophrenic when she had bipolar disorder because she didnt realize that not all symptoms of mental disorders are in the books.

some mental disorders symptoms are things like comparing how you feel today vs how you felt as a child, or what medications you are on, or what your occupation is, or even if you have been in contact with someone carrying the flu virus. what a persons body language is, how they put their sentences together, tomes of voice internal and external...... there are lots of things treatment providers consider symptoms that are found on the internet that come out during talking with a treatment provider..

I understand you are scared of being put on meds but unfortunately because just about every mental and physical health problem shares heaving voices and feeling out of control or the voices are taking control, seeing a treatment provider is the only way you will be able to discover the diagnosis and receive treatment for it.

good luck to you and I hope you feel better soon.