Do you ever feel like the people that should know you need a reminder about your struggles? For example - my ex asked me a couple months ago if I wanted to go to a concert. Where has he been during the past four years? I've been 90% mentally/emotionally housebound. I don't even go downstairs to get my mail for crying out loud.

My daughter, who I haven't had a relationship with for a number of years, is preparing to go to college. She lives with my ex and my other son; he's helping her. He came to me a couple months ago with financial aid and loan applications. I filled out the financial aid application and tossed the loan aps in my desk. I've told my ex a couple of times that I will not fill out the loan aps. This past weekend he told me that the school was calling him about the loan aps. The school will not admit my daughter unless I fill out the loan aps.

Feeling frustrated as I am, I spoke to my mental health worker about it. I got the feeling that she thinks I should fill out the aps for the sake of my daughter. Umm ... excuse me. Have you completely forgotten everything you know about me? I'm paranoid (the kind I don't like talking about, and I have obsessive compulsive personality disorder. Combine the two and I'm not about to fill out forms that I don't believe I'm fit to fill out or which could cause me trouble. I am NOT credit worthy and the forms STATE not to sign if you are not credit worthy and not willing to be responsible for the loan. I don't trust my daughter as far as I can throw her. I once believed that she was trying to poison me, and I don't mean that I now think I was just imagining it, she just doesn't live with me anymore.

Somedays I feel like I have to ask people: you know I'm depressed, right? You know I'm paranoid, right? You know I am agoraphobic, right?

ARRGGHH!!!!

*sigh* That's a bit better now.

Jump and scream your frustration.