Porn is a heated subject and a lot of us have unconscious beliefs that say it's wrong or bad, especially women. Porn can be a great tool for both the self and a couple. Sex and porn are also both very personal topics. It's like food, what you eat, when you eat and what you like is between you and your body...same for sex. And with sex you share that with your significant other. My experience is that porn is not a subsitute for someone's love for another but more a tool for enjoyment, enhancement or fantasy. When porn begins to numb the person, or make them unable to connect with their partner or gets in the way of their daily life, those are usually indicators of deeper problems (intimacy issues, addiction, etc).

I would recommend getting curious about it and with your husband. Talk to him openly, tell him how you feel and be respectful of his feelings and thoughts on the subject. Ask probing questions to try to understand what is his motivation or reasons. I personally think porn can be healthy especially if one partner has a higher sex drive then the other. It can be a source of release and sexual intimacy with themself but still honoring their needs and the monogomous relationship a person is in.

Stay with it, become curious about your own beliefs and feelings of it. Do you feel less desireable, intimated, etc? If so, work there...I guarentee your upset is about your own insecurity either with yourself or your husband's feelings towards you. There's nothing wrong with that...we all have insecurities. Be patient towards yourself and your partner. Get curious, it'll help take the charge of it and help you understand yourself, your husband and your relationship more. I love that your seeing a T for this...good for you to take your own healing in your hands!

Stay with it, stay with yourself and you'll find the balance and understanding around this topic that is perfect for you and your relationship.

Warmly,
Dachigrl