I started seeing my therapist about 3 months ago due to a long term emotionally abusive relationship (long term and two older teens). He has helped me finally get up the courage to tell my husband it's over. This happened fairly recently and my husband and the boys are handling it so much better than expected. I am a professional and can't believe how smoothly it's going.

I have very strong transference now for my therapist. I have very low self esteem and am very afraid of being alone/lonely so I think this was inevitable. He is the antithesis of my husband - candid, sense of humour, compassionate, intelligent MATURE. FYI - I am 52 and I'm guessing he's around 65?

I have so much respect and admiration for my T, however here is what I posted recently in the new members blog:

He oftent compliments me, somewhat generically, on a regular basis with comments such as:

"Your husband will eventually realize he lost the best thing that ever could have happened to him."
"I can guarantee that you will find someone else if you leave your husband.
The men will be lining up for you." (This has been repeated numerous times).

Yesterday, he told me numerous times that he thinks I am very attractive. He added numerous other compliments and again added that men will be lined up...

In encouraging me to face up to my very low self esteem, he once asked what I have done in my past that causes my guilt. Before I could answer, he followed up with..."Do you masterbate when the neigbors are watching?" (This was definitley communicated as a rhetorical/commical question)
He has asked very personal questions about my sex life with my soon to be ex husband such as:
Do you undress in front of your husband. Do you stand naked in front of your husband?
After asking if I kiss my husband when we make love, to which I responded no, he stated "it's sometimes easier to kiss the genitals than the lips".

Yesterday, I expressed my urge to start dating despite knowing it's too early, he asked "are you horny?"

Though I have been seeing him weekly lately, yesterday he informed me he is too booked up to see me before 3 weeks. Somehow, I knew this was coming and I'm not sure why.

The next day he sent me an email indicating he had ordered a book for me on-line that would be sent to my office - a book he had recommended at the end of our session.

My feedback after posting this was very negative - that I should dump him asap and run. Friends who know me well have mixed feedback, though most agree.

I had composed a dear John email and can't get up the courage to send it. I can't face knowing I will never see him again

So sorry to those of you who have already read parts of this. I do so much appreciate your advice. I'm weak and a coward and somehow feel more feedback might help me regain the courage I thought I had after reading your posts.

Much appreciated - Barb

p.s. lots about my past that would cause low self esteem - much of which my therapist knows but has never addressed (e.g., mother committed suicide after numerous attempts when I was growing up).