hi im new to this but i have no support.ive had depression since 12.its so bad now.my family disowned me.the only person in my life was my sis who died 4 years ago.i miss her so much.i have 2 sons who 1 totally disregards me.my other lives at home hes a real sweetheart.i feel so empty and alone i cant stand it.i cry dont sleep.have no energy.its getting real bad.i have no so called friends at all.whats worse is i have no idea why my family is like this to me.i ask for nothing,.help everyone.im so empty inside,,numb.i want to feel..my past is aweful but i figured its past but i guess not.i feel like a freak sometimes.i see people happy,laughing,carefree,i want that so bad.i would give up all the material i have to feel something.im at wits end.my anxiety is way up there.i try to stay busy but cant focus.im so glad thers something like this.any advice or just a hello would be great....thanks so much all for letting me vent here...