Bunny. You make so many great points. I have rarely raised the issue of sex with my T, but yes I raised it in our first appointment and the fact that my husband was selfish - no more details. I also raised that he couldn't stop glaring at the topless women when we went south for a week. I have never raised the topic otherwise - though he has (and I felt with legitmate questions - albeit rather bluntly phrased). When I raised the issue of dating, I felt guilty when he responded with his question - as if I provoked it. My answer was "I've been void of real intimacy for so long, so yes". I later felt so guilty about my response.

I have also wondered if he knew that I was inevitably feeling transference and that is why he put off our next appointment. Either way, I felt the rejection so intensely that i felt he should have known that was coming if his goal was to wein me off??

I feel if I wasn't feeling transference, I would enjoy his candor - part of what I love about him.

Of course, a big part of this is that I want to believe he feels the same way.

Sooooo confused - just want to be there for my children who still need my reassurance.

Thanks
Barb