Oh estersvirtue, I am with sky on this. It is very healthy and so easy for those of us with abuse histories. It is actually helpful to me to have my T in my head when I am going through things that are scarey or triggering. I can hear her words and feel the comfort of her unconditional acceptance.

When I was young I saw a counselor at my high school who was a big fat turd ball but at the time I idolized him and thought about him constantly and wanted him to see the me I was inside. He was a judgemental, dumb, opinionated *** but it took me 3 years to figure that out. He really despised me.

The one bad thing about this closeness with my T is she tells me flat out when I am on the wrong page and does not let it slide until I acknowledge it. I did not agree with her on something this week and I will need to come clean and tell her.