Thank you for all of your replies, it means a lot that you took the time to read and offer your opinions.

I'm not sure how I feel right now. How do I know what being a woman feels like, or being a man feels like? I feel like me and whatever that is, I don't like it. Sexually, I hate being intimate and having my body touched in a lesbian way.

I have other lesbian friends who are also involved in the fitness community who have posters of women who they want to look like... I have pictures of male bodybuilders and I think female bodybuilders aren't attractive at all... I idolize males, not women. I want my body to look male not female. I hate my chest but I like the way my face looks, I think I'm fairly attractive. Sorry if that sounds cocky... :/

I just don't think I would be able to go through the entire transition. I'd love to have my chest removed but bottom surgrey... I don't know. I hate having a vagina but I'm afraid of surgeries. If I'm not willing to do that, then maybe I'm not actually transgendered and I just have "autoandrophilia" like Pandoren said.

I think I should start seeing a professional and maybe get some more insight...even though I know I'm the only one who knows what's going on, I think I might just need help realising it. Having opinions from other FTMs really helps, so thank you so much. <3