BarbSue, I am in great sympathy with your dilemma. Hankster's thought that T could be viewing you somewhat as a peer does seem a possibility, especially if he is attracted to you & is not acting entirely professionally for whatever reason.

But bottom line has to be your safety--including mental health safety. I'd inclined to recommend that you simply cancel any pending appointments with him and have no further contact--not even for a referral. I wouldn't want to make it easy for him to know where you go.

I ended up involved with my therapist, and it wasn't a healthy thing. It never ought to have happened. But these things do, for lots of reasons.

Rather than risk compounding your existing issues, I would just start out fresh with someone else. Since three months is the total of your therapy work, it seems that the time you've invested with this original therapist ought not to be wasted. Don't worry--therapy work is never wasted. And chances are your total time working with someone will be in the neighborhood of a couple years, so three months relatively speaking isn't so long.

From what you've told us, you seem to have gotten a lot of positives from this initial therapeutic encounter. I think that says a great deal about you. All the "nice things" this man said about you I suspect he genuinely felt. You seem like someone who has the inner resources to be okay, with "a little help from her friends"--or her therapist. go out and find yourself a well-grounded therapist who can help you (& indirectly your sons) over this speed-bump in your life.

Then get on with your children's choosing their own adult paths and watch them go ... maybe grand kids ... so much.

Don't get tripped up here. It seems big now. It's three months in a lifetime ... does it really seem worth the risk?

Roadie