It took me a long time to actually write smthg of value or not just fluff here. I write a lot however since i started posting here i dont. I dont think it actually registered in my mind that what im writing is being read by actual ppl!! Also i did give my t things i wrote since i express myself better on paper. Posting here was a majour step, and a tremendous leap in trust to write smthg to strangers. Im glad i did it since i would not survive otherwise being that noone in my life knows about my current mental health. Its so much simpler to write things to a stranger, yet it was still so difficult. Am i contradicting myself?

Im really depressed I have to be studying for exams yet my mind is so preoccupied and i have yo do well. I cant stand these ppl that think i dont need to study to do well. Why do they make such stupid comments about it all day, its so immature. I gotta do well since this term i didnt ace and i cant allow myself to do poorly. My marks are very important to me yet i cant seem yo get a grip and study, im just to busy cutting and stuff like that. I never used to be this way studying was always my top priority. Screw life.