I completely understand, I was hospitalized delusional and manic six years ago, dx BP1 with psychotic features. My personal cocktail of medications is Lamictal, Lexpro and Buspar. I haven't had anything even close to another manic episode or suffered any delusions.

I have fought the fatigue and mild to moderate depression on an on going basis. I will tell you that I have never quit taking my medication. I don't always feel great but I don't ask for a change in medication, I have come to accept that I will be living on the lower side of the spectrum. At least for me, it seems like a small sacrifice not to be manic/ suicidally depressed or psychotic again.