I am sorry to find any woman as miserable as you are, sweet and sour. I'm frightened for you especially at the moment by you apparent wish (if I'm understanding you) to stay in the relationship for a while simply in the hopes of tormenting him some before leaving him.

I understand the sentiment, believe me--& it's not its mean-spiritedness that concerns me: it seems a possibly dangerous plan to set out on.

I've read over your previous postings, and I believe your marriage was arranged as often is the tradition in your country. Because you found yourself having difficulty becoming pregnant with the child he wanted, you went through difficult medical procedures which were successful. Have you give birth?

While you were going through all this, your husband was having an affair with someone. You say this was the second time--2nd time with the same woman?

I've seen no mention in your posts of any sort of support that you're getting from those immediately around you. Do you have anyone, family or friends, who lend you encouragement or even simple hugs?

Your culture differs from mine, and that makes it difficult for me to know what is feasible for you. I strongly encourage you, however, not to try by any means to exact revenge while you are living with him. Within your society, he is stronger than you. The odds that he win emerge victorious in any contest you start with him are enormous. If he is an unkind man, you--and your child--could pay in ways you haven't imagined at this point.

Please keep posting. I'm so glad you found PsychCentral.

Roadie