Hi again everyone,

This is my last installment and is shorter than the others. What follows below is: 1). Increased Goal Directed Activity and 2). Inflated Self-Esteem & Grandiosity/Excessive Pleasurable Activities. Thank you so much for sticking with me.

INCREASED GOAL DIRECTED ACTIVITY:
From time to time I get into what I call my, “Productive Whirlwinds.” These are not frantic, excitable, states where I’m pinging around the house as if I’m jacked up on speed. Rather, they are tasks which need to be done and I either have a tendency to go overboard and do more than I intended, or overextend myself underestimating time needed .

Examples of this would be intending to only tidy up the house to make it look presentable. But then once I’ve begun I get on a roll and have to do more, unable or unwilling, to stop. I do feel slightly energized at this time, but nothing I’d call manic. I feel motivated, with a burst of energy, and a need to do it and get it done right then. Wanting to get it done and my motivation is my driving force- not a feeling of excitability or a need to move because of it. Could I stop myself and do something else? Yes, but it would drive me crazy knowing it wasn’t completed. I’d probably just take a break and return to it later.

I’m a compulsive list maker. I always consult my planner writing down, “Things to Do,” and will check it multiple times a day ensuring everything’s been completed. I will often spend inordinate amounts of time planning my days assessing what task, errand, etc… fits best into my schedule for maximum efficiency. However, I often find I’ll overextend myself poorly estimating time needed for some tasks. Therefore, I have to go back to the drawing board and begin this vicious planning cycle all over again. I have no problem with follow through except for the natural consequence of my unforeseen poor time management.

Also when I get depressed (and the funk begins to dissipate) I tend to get into my, “Productive Whirlwinds,” in an attempt to solve my current, depressing, circumstances. I will engage in 2-3 big projects at a time, spending days to weeks working on them, only to find the end result isn’t do-able because of some realistic factor I hadn’t considered. Then I crash into depression again with this realization and feeling like I’ve wasted my time.

I thought all of this was my OCPD getting the best of me, and it very well might be. But does this sound like hypomania to you? Is it possible what I’ve thought was my anxiety and OCPD all along might actually be Bipolar and hypomanic episodes? I do understand people are often misdiagnosed with depression when they actually have Bipolar disorder.

INFLATED SELF ESTEEM & GRANDIOSITY/EXCESSIVE PLEASURABLE ACTIVITIES:
I seriously doubt I exhibit or engage in any of this. On the contrary, I’m a very cautious person who rarely, if ever, engages in anything impulsively! If anything, I’m over conscientious about how my behavior may affect others. I’ve never had issues with drugs or alcohol, or engaged in questionable, random, sex practices or had any spending sprees. I’m an extremely thrifty person and carefully monitor my budget. Unless, of course, my, “Whirlwind Problem Solving," could be considered grandiosity instead of increased goal directed activity?

Okay, this is it. This now puts a close to my investigation. I am very grateful for everyone's patience, interest, and time spent offering suggestions, input and advice. I'll continue to watch this thread for any further posts and if you have any questions for me. Again, thank you!

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

~*PositiveKarma*~