It seems to be much easier and faster to just kill myself right now. HIV's uncureable, I'll die anyway. I told my mother about the HIV test- via e-mail, so maybe she will kill me. I wanna die. I thought I could start a new life after years of sexual abuse- a guy turned out to be a selfish idiot, possibly got me pregnant and seriously ill. Men just cannot be trusted, huh? Omfg, don't I deserve some ****ing luck?