I understand. I was delusional thinking people were after me for several years. I was never hospitalized, though. Now I always wonder when I worry about something if I can trust it. I still have paranoia but I can't tell if it is okay normal paranoia or bad. For example, my boss and co-boss will be whispering and I automatically think they are discussing me.

I also had auditory hallucinations and I get them sometimes. All of that worries me.

I am not on meds and never been hospitalized. I've heard of reality checking. I try to do it but I don't know if I do it correctly. Basically when I think something I ask myself questions to try and see if the answers are logical. For example, when I had hallucinations before I heard a phone ringing and it would ring for hours, but stop when i would enter the room to answer it. So now, i reality check. "It is not logical that a phone will stop ringing on purpose. It is not logical that someone is observing me to see when i enter the room and hang up."

That's the only advice I have. I understand, I'm scared of dropping over the edge, too.