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Jun 05, 2012, 06:44 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 23
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Hey, I am in that situation right now. There is this guy (Lets call him B) i love him more than anything. I'm very very clingy with him. I text him every day, I talk to him every day when he is in school, and I have to hug him at least once that day if i see him. Much like in Leeds situation he is nice, caring, decent, all that good stuff but he just doesn’t stick around all that much. He recently said "I love you, but right now i can't be with you because i have a girlfriend" however he had no problem cheating on his girlfriend with me. for the longest I was kissing him and we even had an intimate relationship but then when I confronted him about his secretive behavior (telling me not to call him, telling me not to talk about our relationship with friends, and him always acting as if he didn’t know me in school) and his lack of caring at times he explained to me that he had a girlfriend and that he loved her as well. I was and still am heartbroken but my heart mends pretty fast I would say. Because all the time he comes to me and asks me for a kiss and when I try to walk away he grabs me by the arm lightly and kisses me. I don’t know how to take it really. It’s like he loves me but he doesn’t love me enough to be with me. He is going away to college this year and I’m left behind in high school being a senior. Also it doesn’t help that he and his girlfriend of a year and some time are going to the same college in the fall. It’s almost as if he is leaving my life for good and that is one of my biggest fears, He is not only my first love but he is also my best friend. I tell him everything, he means the world to me but it hurts that I don’t mean the world to him. I have panic attacks just thinking about him just up and leaving my life, I get depressed when I text him and he doesn’t text back, and I cry every night because I’m not his girlfriend. This post really makes me think about me and B’s relationship. I think the only 2 reasons I hold on to him is because he comes to me in school for kisses and that means a whole lot, considering that I turned on him at one point in time 2 years ago and because he is my first love. I just hope I can somehow detach my feeling from him because I feel as though that we’ll never be together  . Hopefully I can detach myself very soon.
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