I have always been awful with mindfulness. I dropped out of a DBT group for bipolar where there was talk about observing without judgment. I go to restorative yoga where there is always talk about "just observing", and, finally, out of the blue, I am getting it! I was examining my past love life today, beginning in adolescence, with its fear of my own feelings, a tendency to initiate relationships without resolving prior ones and thus ending up loving two guys, and for the first time I was ... infatuated... curious... accepting rather than cursing myself. Just observed it without judgment. It was so amazing to realize that I am doing it - observing without judgment. I was not pitying myself or anything on the opposite end of the spectrum from cursing - I was just neutrally observing. An awesome feeling!