turquoise - your post, above, means a lot to me. I only just came up with that theory about "too big a deal being made of mistakes." I had thought of it long ago, as applying to one of my sibs, who got leaned on pretty hard for rather small mistakes. But I didn't think it applied to me because I did get a lot of praise. It came to me today that I might have been indirectly affected by the severity of the way my sib was treated. I tended to seldom make "mistakes." But I have had severe anxiety issues ALL my life.

Following what you have related has helped me tie things together. Even though I was not reprimanded much, as a kid, I probably achieved that at too great a cost to my mind. I was probably always tightly controlling my every move. That's a perfect way to develop chronic anxiety. Also, it makes it hard to be spontaneous, which makes it hard to play easily and attract friends.

I feel like I learned a lot just now. Thank you.