As everyone else has said keep posting there are lots of people who are here to support you. I really hope that you can find a course of action that keeps you safe as well as being able to move forward and trust again. From reading your post it seems that you do know this isn't your fault, men tend to try and lay blame for there indiscretions with their partner; but at the end of the day they just use the hardships in the relationship as an excuse and in many cases a chat up line ''my wife doesn't understand me'' YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT AND YOUR DESERVE MORE x x